Stinky Bills Still Pay The Bills

I used to be a bank teller. The worst was the yearly onslaught of seniors demanding “new” bills to give out during the holidays.

We couldn’t actually order “new” bills — we only got what the Fed sent us — so we’d preemptively sort through the vault and drawers to find the best bills for people who would ask for them.

My favorite was this lady, who complained when we tried to give her some bills.

Customer: “These bills don’t smell new enough! These are wholly unacceptable for my grandchildren!”

As if her toddler grandchildren would have given a rat’s a** or even known what they were getting.