Stink-Eye For The Stinky Guy

(I’m standing in line at a large retail store. There are about three people in front of me. There are the only two registers open in the entire store, but because of the amount of people, it’s all converged into one long line. A customer walks forward, and lets out a large ‘HUMPH’ when she sees the length of the line. She then starts to walk in front of everyone in line to the front-most register. She’s blocked at the point of entry into the checkout line by a teenage boy reading a magazine off the display rack.)

Customer: “Are you standing in both lines?”

(The question startles the boy. It looks as though he is about to move forward to get out of her way, until he sees at the disgusted look on her face. He changes his mind and smirks.)

Teenager: “Yup!”

Customer: “Humph! You’re standing in both lines?”

(The teenage boy then gets a rather painful look on his face, and rips out a loud fart. He just smiles at the customer. Everyone in line starts to laugh. Both cashiers have actually stopped scanning items in amazement.)

Customer: “Humph!”

(The woman leaves her entire cart—which must have taken over an hour to fill—at the checkout and walks out. She gives the stink-eye to the boy, who is still smiling.)