Still Got Meat Between Their Ears

(I’m taking drive-thru orders over the speaker box. This particular fast-food chain is known for making burgers “your way” – adding or removing condiments, no matter what the request. Condiments such as lettuce and tomato are free within reason, but some customers try to get away with ordering a plain burger, and then requesting all of the condiments be added, assuming they will get a burger with everything for the price of a plain one.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Fast Food Restaurant]. Place your order when you’re ready, please.”

Customer: “I’ll have a hamburger, please.”

Me: “Sure thing; one hamburger is $1.10. Is there anything e-”

Customer: *”On the hamburger, I’d like cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and mayonnaise.”

Me: “No worries. That’s one Junior [Brand-name] burger with cheese. That’s $2.85; is there anything else?”

Customer: “… Oh, uh, I’ve changed my mind. How much is a five inch bun on its own?”

Me: “60c.”

Customer: “I’ll get a five inch bun, with sauce, mayo, lettuce, tomato, onion, and cheese.”

Me: “Sure thing. So, that’s a [full-priced burger] minus the meat. That’ll be $3.85… Drive through, please.”

Customer: “D*** IT! You guys are meant to be stupid high-school drop-outs that are easy to fool. Just give me the burger with the meat on it then, thanks.”