Sticky, Tricky and Picky

(I am working in customer service, and a woman walks up with a Nintendo DS and her receipt. She has our protection plan purchased, so I send her to one of the agents to take a look at it.)

Agent: “Hello, ma’am, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need you to take a look at my son’s DS. It isn’t working anymore.”

Agent: “Well, let’s see here.” *opens the DS and clears his throat* “Uh, ma’am? There’s jelly in here…”

Customer: “Oh! I know! My son was playing his DS while eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and dropped it on the DS. Is it unfixable? Am I going to have to get a new one? Can I get a DSi instead?”

Agent: “We can’t do anything for it, actually.”

Customer: *starting to get angry* “Why not?”

Agent: “This protection plan does not cover accidental damage.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I am not paying for another DS! You’re doing something for me!”

Agent: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. Like I said before, we don’t cover anything accidental.”

Customer: “Then I did it on purpose! Will you fix it now?!”

Agent: *sliding the DS back to the customer* “No…”