Star Wars But With Nudity

, , , | Right | September 29, 2019

(Working at a library and council service, we cater to people of all walks of life and come across some colourful characters.)

Patron: *approximately fifty years old* “Do you have the Star Wars movies available in the library at the moment?”

Me: “I’ll have a look at our system. Which ones were you after?”

Patron: “The first ones in the series.”

Me: “So, A New Hope and—”

Patron: “No, no, no, the first ones. With The Empire Strikes Back… and one with clones I think?”

Me: *becoming confused* “So… The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith?”

Patron: *becoming frustrated* “No, the original ones. You’re young; surely you watched them as a child?”

Me: “Sir, that would be the trilogy beginning with A New Hope… Regardless, we don’t have any of the first six movies available right now.”

Patron: “No the first one was just called Star Wars. You know what, never mind. I’ll just look it up myself.”

(Ten minutes later:)

Patron: “How do I log into the Wi-Fi?”

Me: “Here is a pamphlet with details of the security key and how to input your password.”

Patron: “It won’t let me log in, see?” *server error page comes up* “I think my password is wrong; I don’t remember it. I thought it was just the last digits of my membership number.”

Me: “It could be. There’s no way for me to check that as it’s kept private on our system. However, I can change it to something you’ll remember.”

Patron: “But how can I change it? I just want to use the Wi-Fi on my phone.”

Me: “Sir, I will change it for you on our system. Would you like me to set it to the last digits of your membership number so it’s easy to remember? You can always change it to something else yourself once you log in.”

Patron: “Oh, I guess I should make it something different or people could do funny business with it, otherwise.” *chuckles to himself*

Me: “Right… so, what would you like me to change it to?”

Patron: “Just make it the last four digits of my member number, love.”

Me: “All righty, then.”

(We then go to test the login.)

Me: “All right, now exit out of the Wi-Fi settings and go to your internet browser.”

(The patron presses the home button on his phone, bringing up his phone’s wallpaper of a young naked woman with her arms and legs in strategic places.)

Patron: *laughs nervously* “Oh, haha, don’t look! There’s a naked lady there; you shouldn’t be seeing that.”

Me: *trying desperately to refrain from rolling my eyes and thinking to myself* “I encounter that image literally every day when I get changed. I’m not the one who should be averting my eyes.”


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