Stand-Up And Storm Out
[Coworker #1] comes into work today with a smile on her face. FYI: her husband is a bit of a high earner. Banking, or a lawyer, or something like that. She just refers to his work as “the firm.”
Coworker #1: “My husband’s firm got given ten free tickets to see [Comedian] this Saturday in London. They’re good seats, too, but none of them are going! He said we could have them. First-come, first-served. Thought we could make a work outing of it, yeah?”
We all know the comedian. He’s very famous… and very offensive. He doesn’t spare anyone, any topic, any background. That’s his entire shtick. [Coworker #1 is quick to remind people of this.
Coworker #2: “Oh, I love him. Proper dark.”
Coworker #3: “Count me in.”
Me: “Same. Thanks, that’s brilliant.”
[Coworker #4], however, sits there with her lips pursed tighter than the lid on a pickle jar. Ten minutes later, she’s at the boss’s desk. We don’t need to ask our boss what’s said, as it’s an open-plan work area (the store only really has one big back room) and she’s making no attempt to be quiet.
Coworker #4: “There’s a problem.”
Boss: “What’s the problem?”
Coworker #4: “That group outing. I can’t go.”
Boss: “Oh, well, it’s not really an official work outing, so—”
Coworker #4: “—I find that comedian offensive.”
Boss: “Okay… then don’t go?”
Coworker #4: “But it’s unfair! Everyone else gets a free night out, and I don’t.”
Boss: “…I don’t know what you expect me to do?”
Coworker #4: “Tell them they need to see a more respectable comedian instead! Or maybe a musical?”
Boss: “I can’t do that. It’s between [Coworker #1] and her husband. They’re free tickets. You either take one, or you don’t.”
Coworker #4: “Well, it’s not fair! He’s very offensive!”
Boss: “Sorry? There’s nothing I can do for you.”
The rest of us went. Yes, the comedian was brutal: race, gender, politics, religion, the Royal Family, nothing was safe. But if you went knowing what you were in for, it was hilarious. We all left crying with laughter.
Monday morning, [Coworker #4] called in sick. Then Tuesday. Then the whole week.
When she finally came back, she announced to us all in the back:
Coworker #4: “I was sick with stress from being in such a toxic work environment. Working with colleagues who find such a reprehensible man funny is too much for me.”
She was “off sick” again a few hours later. She’d come back into work just to make that announcement in person.
HR eventually signed her off with stress for six months. After that, the company found a way to let her go.
