Squishing A Customer’s Demands For A Discount Is Oh So Satisfying

(I work in a bakery. We mark down items that are due off the shelf that day for quick sale, as well as anything that is damaged. A woman comes up to me carrying a loaf of our expensive cheese and garlic bread that I KNOW is fresh, because I just baked and put it out myself.)

Customer: “You need to mark this down for me!”

Me: “Hi, ma’am, nice to see you. What’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “Are you blind? What kind of standards do you have? The top is all squished!”

(Note that while the rest of the loaves we bake and sell have rounded tops, the way this bread is baked, combined with the toppings and other ingredients, means it always comes out brick-shaped. It even comes with its own special label that we affix that has a photo of it on the front, showing how it’s supposed to look. She does not listen when I point this out.)

Customer: “[Company] is supposed to be all about quality… Does this look like quality to you?”

(She’s getting more and more obstinate, even jabbing a finger at my chest. Normally, I wouldn’t care enough to fight her on it, since I can issue markdowns easily, but I am not about to enable her attitude.)

Me: “It looks as it was intended to look, ma’am.”

Customer: “Don’t get smart with me. Do you want me to get your manager over a discount I know you can make?”

Me: “You know what? You’re right. I’m sorry. I see your point now. This is unacceptable.”

(She hands me the bread, looking incredibly smug… right until I crush it into a ball in front of her and nearly spike it into the trash can, still smiling politely at her.)

Me: “Obviously, we can’t offer such shoddy product to our customers. Thank you for letting me know so I could dispose of it. Have a good day!”

(While at the time it was easily one of the most satisfying moments I’ve ever had at work, in hindsight I’m amazed she didn’t go try to get me fired. Instead, she just stared at me looking startled and confused, then turned and ambled off like nothing had happened.)