Spontaneous Customer Combustion

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store], how may I help you today?”

Caller: “Do you take credit cards? My husband has a huge party coming up. I need a basket immediately, the biggest you have.”

(I ring her up and then ask for her credit card number. I also ask for the CVV code on the back of her card. Big. Effing. Mistake.)

Caller: “Excuse me, you want my what now?”

Me: “Your CVV code, ma’am. The three-or-four-digit code on the back of–”

Caller: “I KNOW what a CVV code is, d**nit! I’m not giving it to you!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but it’s company policy. I can assure you–”

Caller: “I am NOT giving you my code! Get me your manager!”

Me: “Ma’am, I swear, it’s policy–”

Caller: *Shrieking now* “You rotten children are just trying to ROB ME! GET ME YOUR MANAGER! NOW!”

(I get my manager.)

Manager: “Hello, can I help you?”

Caller: “You’re a bunch of thieves! No one asks for a CVV code nowadays! My husband has had dealings with the LIKES OF YOU!”

(At this point, she’s yelling so loudly that she’s audible to other employees in the room.)

Manager: “Miss, I–”

Caller: *does something inaudible*

Fellow Employee: “What just happened?”

Manager: *staring at the phone* “I think she just broke her phone.”

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