Spiritually Stone-Faced

A new “New Age” shop has opened in town and I go to have a look. I’m not that spiritual, myself, but my father was. He died back in 2005, but since he was a hobby archaeologist and a New Age enthusiast, I often look for special stones to put on his grave when I visit him. I happen to mention that to the woman running the shop and suddenly, she happily says, “Yeah, dead fathers are nice, aren’t they?”

My eyes go wide with shock, and I say, “Excuse me?”

Then she explains how nice it is that fathers always look after their children, even from heaven or the afterlife. I relaxed a bit then, but for real, that’s not something you say like that!