Spin Grandma A Different Story

| Related | January 12, 2016

(I am a very prolific writer and have been since I was a teenager, writing everything from fanfiction to my own novels. Everyone in my family is well aware of this fact, but for various reasons, I rarely share anything I write with anyone but my sister, who is a lot more open-minded about the things I write than they are. This doesn’t stop some people from asking me about it, my grandmother being the most relentless. This occurs after she finds me asking my sister for advice on a multi-chapter fanfic that I am working on. The fanfic has a very hard R-rating, so we’re trying to be as vague about details as possible, which has piqued her curiosity.)

Grandmother: “So… I noticed you still haven’t actually let me read anything you write.”

Me: “Yes, I’m aware. There’s… kind of a reason for that.”

Grandmother: “Oh? What kind of reason?”

Me: “Well I write about things you wouldn’t like. Like…” *trying to think of one of the tamer things I write about on a regular basis* “I write a lot of horror.”

Grandmother: “Oh! You’re writing horror?”

Me: “Yeah. This is horror. Let’s go with that.”

Grandmother: “Yeah, I don’t like horror, so I guess I won’t read anything you write.”

Me: “Maybe sometime I’ll write something you can read.”

Grandmother: “Let me know if you do! I’d love to read it!”

(Shortly after she’s left…)

Sister: “Maybe if you showed her the pornographic parts in your novel she’ll stop asking to read everything you write?”

Me: “Oh, please, like she’d get far enough past the graphic descriptions of cannibalism and shotgun wounds to read those parts…”

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