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Spidey Sense Going Crazy

| Working | May 1, 2014

(At my job, I am known for my costumes and my charitable work. There is a big event coming at the end of the month where I have roped in several friends that are also costumers. We’ll be there to cheer on the children during the event and mingle with the kids beforehand.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], are you bringing out your kids for the event at the end of the month?”

Coworker: “Oh, yeah. Thanks for letting me know about it. I didn’t have a chance to come out last time!”

Me: “They’ll get a kick out of it for sure. Your son’s a big Spider-Man fan, so I’ll make sure to high-five him when he comes into the finish line.”

(Her eyes narrow, and she gives me a once-over.)

Coworker: “Wait, you’re Spider-Man?”

Me: “Yeah, I thought everyone knew that. That’s my go-to costume for children’s events. Why?”

Coworker: “But… your butt.”

Me: “My… what?”

Coworker: “Were you the guy in the costume at [Last Company Event], too?”

Me: “Yeah, why?”

Coworker: “But your butt looks different.”

Me: “Were you checking me out in costume at the event?”

Coworker: “Maybe?” *gives me the once over again before walking away*

Me: “… I need a shower and an adult.”