Spewing A Lot Of Hot Gas About This

, , , , | Right | August 17, 2017

(A man walks in, really frustrated.)

Man: “Do ANY of your fuel pumps work?”

Me: *stares at the other people outside using them, plus my screen which shows all green* “Um. Yes. All of them. Which one are you on?”

Man: “I’m on ten!”

Me: “Ten is operative.”

Man: “My wife just came in and it’s not working!”

Me: “Did she pre-pay?”

Man: “No!”

(Unsure of why it was then relevant to mention it, I relent.)

Me: “Well, sir, I’ll come out and we’ll see why it’s not working for you!”

Man: “Good!”

(We walk out and he lifts the nozzle, selects the grade, and tries to pump.)

Man: “See! It’s BROKEN!”

Me: “Actually, sir, you didn’t scan your loyalty card. See the screen? It says to scan it, first.”

Man: “WHY?!”

Me: “It’s part of the process.”

Man: “This is RIDICULOUS! So how do I pump fuel?! I don’t have one of these cards!”

Me: “Well, you can come inside and prepay.”

Man: “This is stupid! You don’t even SAVE anything on your gas! ”

Me: “Sir, you save at least $0.03 a gallon with the card or $0.10 for every $50 you spend in our store.”

Man: “Uh. I’m an INTERNATIONAL BUSINESSMAN! I know these things and yeah, that is just a FLUKE! You don’t save anything!”

(Never mind what he said made no sense. We get inside to pay.)

Me: “So how much do you want to prepay?”

Man: “Six dollars. Where do I BUY one of those cards anyway?”

Me: “They are free at customer service across the lot at our main store.”

Man: “Yeah. I’m not doing that.”

Me: “Here, I will scan this courtesy card so you’ll save $0.03 off per gallon anyway.”

Man: “Why do you have to scan that card first anyway?”

Me: “Because if we didn’t, people could pump gas and drive off without paying and we have no way of finding them. With the card, if anyone drives off, we have their address and number and we can find them and collect.”

Man: “Oh.”

(And I ring him up and hand him his receipt.)

Man: “Yeah. I’ll pump that six dollars and put the rest of my gas on my credit card.”

(The man walked out and I burst out laughing. After six dollars, he was back to square one, got angry, and drove off.)

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