Spelling Isn’t Tweasy

(My mother keeps a shopping list on the kitchen worktop for anyone to add to, when they notice we need something. My mum is talking to my fourteen-year-old sister.)

Mum: “Why have you added ‘tweezers’ to the shopping list?”

Sister: “I want a pair to pluck my eyebrows with.”

Mum: “You’ve spelt it T-W-E-A-S-E-R-S.”

Sister: “So?”

Mum: “So, I’ll buy you tweezers when you can spell it correctly.”

(Over next few days, my mother would find a different – and always incorrect – permutation of the spelling of “tweezers” on the shopping list. After about a week, she finds the following scrawled on the list instead.)

List: “Screw it, I’ll buy them myself!”