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Speeding Right Into Stupidity

, , , , , | Friendly | October 29, 2020

One night, I pick up a friend on the way to another friend’s party. While I’m driving, he glumly informs me that one of the host’s extremely annoying friends has recently returned back home after losing his apprenticeship in another city. Instantly, I’m annoyed; I’ve never really liked this guy as he is an immature idiot. He’s one of those awkward people who is convinced he is a super cool “ladies’ man” who everyone loves.

In reality, most of our friendship group barely tolerates him as his behaviour has gotten us into some difficult situations in the past, usually because he is trying to impress a girl! When we get there, we see him already trying to be the life of the party and he seems already drunk.

While we’re sitting in the backyard, he begins talking about his job and how his boss was a “total dog” for firing him.

Me: “So, why exactly did you lose your apprenticeship?”

Guy: “Oh, I lost my driving license! Needed it for the job, eh!”

This doesn’t shock me, as he has always been an awful driver since he got his license and gets pulled over regularly by the local cops.

Me: “How did you lose your license?”

Guy: *Smirks* “Oh, you know, just doing a cool 180 on the highway!”

He smiles as if this is his proudest achievement and raises his beer.

Me: “Well, that was f****** stupid! You could’ve killed someone.”

Guy: “Nah, it was awesome, mate!”

Me: “You have no license and now you have no job. How, precisely, is this ‘awesome’?”

The guy gives me an arrogant sneer.

Guy: “Well, the chick in the car who dared me to do it was well impressed!”

Me: “Did you get a date out of it?”

Guy: “Well… no, she had a boyfriend.”

Me: “Yeah… totally worth it, then!”

He then has a sour look on his face and glares at me.

Guy: “F*** you!”

He then stomped off and had another beer, still complaining loudly about how “unfair” his firing was. Thankfully, years later, none of my friendship groups speaks to his guy. From what I heard, he didn’t get any smarter in the years that followed.

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