Speaking American Is A Country Diction In Terms, Part 2

(I’ve lived in New Jersey all my life but moved to Missouri roughly two months ago. I’m managing the fitting rooms in our store when a husband and wife approach me.)

Husband: “Ma’am, do you think you can help my wife find something?”

Me: “Oh! Of course! What were you looking for?”

(The couple stares at me in shock for a few seconds.)

Husband: “Where are you from? You have a very strange accent.”

Me: “I just moved out here from Jersey.”

Wife: “That’s in Europe, right?”

Me: “Er… no. I mean New Jersey. The state.”

Husband: “Oh, so you’re from Eastern Europe?”

Me: “No, sir. The East Coast of the United States.”

Husband: “Was New Jersey one of those Soviet countries?”

Wife: “It must have been. You poor dear, living under such oppression. Welcome to America! Your English really is excellent!”

Me: “Uh… thanks. What was it you were looking for?”

Wife: “Oh, I’ll get someone else to help me. I really dislike being helped by foreigners.”

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