Speak To Him In Dad Code

, , , | Related | March 5, 2020

(I am living and working outside of the US, but I keep my US bank account active. My father also has access to my account in case anything happens that would be easier to deal with in person. I trust him with my account, but he doesn’t have the greatest faith in my career. For some reason, he’s convinced that I should quit my job, go back to university, and learn computer coding. I’m in my 30s and have been following my career path for several years. I don’t make outstanding money, but I live comfortably, enjoy my job, and love the country I’m working in. One day, my dad emails me.)

Dad: “Your account is getting a little low.”

Me: “I know, my [subscription] payment was taken out yesterday.”

Dad: “Do you need me to loan you some money?”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Dad: “Are you sure? I can transfer some money into your account right now. I wouldn’t want it to get overdrawn.”

Me: “I transferred some money from my account here just yesterday. It should go through within a day or two, and I don’t have any transactions scheduled before then.”

Dad: “I found this good coding course online. I’ll pay for [subscription] and give you $500 extra if you take the course.”

Me: “Uh, no. I’ve told you before that I’m not interested, and I don’t have the time to spend slogging through a course that has no benefit to my job.”

Dad: “You know you could be making so much better money, right? I love you and I just want to see you able to support yourself.”

Me: “We’ve had this conversation before. I do support myself. I love my job. I have no wish to quit my job and learn coding. I frankly find it so boring I could scream, and I certainly wouldn’t be able to tolerate it as a career. You keep offering me money but I haven’t taken it. I have no need to take it. You haven’t paid for anything of mine since I got my own phone plan in university. I might not be making the kind of money [Dad’s career] earns, but I. Am. Fine.”

(I don’t know how to get it across to him that I don’t need any financial support. He just doesn’t seem to understand that I’m comfortable enough with my current income that I value job satisfaction over extra money.)

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