I Speak The Queens(land) English

(I’m working as a server at a restaurant over the summer break between my freshman and sophomore years of college. Sometimes I like to use fake accents for my own entertainment, and sometimes I get bigger tips for being a “foreigner.”)

Me: “Hello! Welcome to [Restaurant]! My name is [My Name], and I’m going to be your server today. Can I get you started off with something to drink? [Soda]? Iced tea?”

Customer: “Can I ask where you’re from? I love your accent.”

Me: *obviously lying* “Queensland, Australia.”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “Really? That’s awesome! Hey, speak some Australian!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “Speak some Australian!”

Customer: “Honey, they speak English in Australia.”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah. We do, actually. Sorry to disappoint.”

(For most of their meal, they argued about whether or not Australians speak English.)