Spaced Out Needle

| Friendly | February 12, 2016

(I am visiting Seattle on a business trip and waiting at the bus stop. While I and three other people are sitting there, a man in a black suit wanders over with a stack of papers.)

Man: “Excuse me, but would you all be willing to sign my petition?”

Me: “Uh… sure, I guess. What’s it for?”

Man: “My petition is to ask the government to send the Space Needle back to Mars where it rightfully belongs.”

(Dead silence from all four of us.)

Woman Next To Me: “What?”

Man: “You know that static that you hear on the radio sometimes? That’s all being filtered in through the radio waves by the Martians! They’re listening in on us as we speak! That atrocity is an antenna meant to spy on us and learn our weak points. We have to send it right back, immediately!”

Me: “And… you know this… how?”

Man: “They told me, of course.”

Me: “They”?

Man: “The movie They. It speaks to me. Look, are you gonna sign or not?

Me: “Uh… no, thanks.”

Man: “Oh, okay. Well, have a nice day!”

(We all watched him walk off whistling to himself. I never did figure out exactly what the heck he was talking about, but to this day, I’m fairly certain I’d just witnessed some sort of initiation rite.)

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