Sounds Like They’re Already Baked

(My BFF and I run a small bakery. We are very sarcastic with each other and our employees.)

BFF: *texting* “Not coming in today.”

Me: “Really? You are only four hours late. I didn’t even miss you.”

BFF: “Slow?”

Me: “Turtle, slug, slime creeping. What is slower?”

BFF: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Watching Deadwood, cleaning office, surfing p*rn (not really).”

BFF: “Go home. The girls can handle the front.”

Me: “NO! Then I would have to watch TMNT, clean the kitchen, and surf Pinterest; work is way better!”