Sounds Like He’s Polishing A Turd

I work as a manager in a small perfumery. A guy no older than twenty approaches the counter and slams a bottle of perfume on it, making everything shake.

Me: “Can help you?”

Customer: “I want to complain and get a refund!”

Me: “All right, what’s your complaint?”

Customer: “I bought this perfume a week ago. One of your employees told me it was going to cover up most smells and make me smell of pine, and yet when I went to a party yesterday, everybody told me I smelt like somebody had taken a s*** in a pine yard and made fun of me all night!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir, but we cannot refund you, only offer you a different perfume in exchange for the old one.”

Customer: “Don’t bother! I want my money back; I have no use for perfumes that can’t make up for skipping showers!”