Sounds Like He’s Been Smoking Something Stronger

, , | Right | November 6, 2019

(Here in the UK, we currently have a ban on the advertisement of any tobacco products. Because of this, they are kept behind opaque metal shutters in our store.)

Customer #1: “Can I have twenty [brand]?”

Me: “You can, yes.”

(I slide the door aside, get the pack, and slide it closed again.)

Customer #1: *with a smile* “They should have red warning lights on the doors.”

(I chuckle. It’s not unheard of for customers to make fun of the new law or the grisly images on the boxes meant to deter you from smoking.)

Customer #1: “Or maybe a man on fire. Being burned at the stake!”

(I smile but feel a little uncomfortable by this point. One on one is fine, but when others are in earshot it’s awkward. There are two people waiting patiently behind her.)

Customer #1: *pays and picks up her cigarettes* “A beheading! That would do it; you need a big picture of someone being beheaded.”

Me: “Ha, yes, I think it would. See you again!”

([Customer #1] walks away with a smile on her face. My next customer has a “What the heck did I just listen to?” look on her face.)

Me: “You get all sorts.”

Customer #2: “I bet you do!”

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