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Sorry, We Can’t Insure Against Your Son Dating

, , , , , , , | Right | February 13, 2023

I work in insurance. One of our client’s vehicles rear-ended another vehicle on the highway. There is a concerning detail in the police report: the person driving the vehicle is not listed on the client’s paperwork. Not authorized, not unauthorized, not listed at all.

I call the client to get some clarification. All names and identifying information are changed for the protection of the individuals involved.

Me: “Hello. I just got a report that your car was involved in an accident. Can you tell me a little about what happened? Is the car in your possession?”

Client: “Yes, my daughter Amanda was driving the vehicle. She didn’t say much about it. She seemed a bit upset.”

Me: “Was anyone else in the vehicle?”

Client: “Yes, my son Bob was in the vehicle.”

Me: “Was… anyone else in the vehicle?”

I can already see where this is going.

Client: “No? Not that I was told about.”

Me: “We have a Mr. Caleb listed as the driver of the vehicle.”

Client: “Caleb? I told him not to come around here anymore! He’s not an authorized driver! He’s not allowed to be with my children.”

Yup. That’s where I thought it was going. Now to figure out if he actually counts as authorized.

Me: “Was there any particular reason?”

Client: “I told him to quit seeing my son! He’s a layabout! Drives recklessly! Gets bad grades! My son is on the Aquabike team! Straight-A student!”

Me: “And is your son, Bob, authorized to drive your vehicle?”

Client: “Yes, he’s twenty. I’ve not changed the car to his name because it would increase the insurance rates, but it’s essentially his car.”

Me: “Was there any reason that he wasn’t driving it?”

Client: “Amanda said he’d been drinking, so she volunteered to drive. She’s such a good girl.”

I decide not to remind the owner that her daughter was actively hiding the fact that her son was dating a young man that she didn’t approve of.

Me: “Well, it sounds like this was an authorized use of the vehicle, so we’re going to be taking the responsibility for it.”

Client: “But I don’t want Caleb driving my vehicle!”

Me: “In the future, then, please fill out paperwork for individuals who are not authorized to drive the vehicle that lists them as explicitly not authorized to drive it. Right now, Caleb falls under a presumption of authorization due to his relationship with your son, the primary user of the vehicle. Do you understand?”

Client: “No! I told him he wasn’t allowed to drive my car! He drives recklessly!”

Me: “I understand, but it seems that you never told us that.”

Client: “I’d like to fill out the paperwork right here! Right now! Today!”

Me: “I’ll get that emailed over to you.”

Client: “Can you fax it?”

This lady has a FAX MACHINE?! Yes. Yes, we can fax it. I haven’t gotten to fax something to a customer in ages! I love using the fax machine!

Me: “Yes, can I have your fax number?”

Client: “It’s [number].”

Me: “And you understand that this paperwork won’t be retroactive, right?”

Client: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Uh… legal issues. Blame the state of Minnesota.”

Client: “Oh, you betcha I am. Legal reasons, huh? I’m going to write my senator today! God-d*** Biden!”

Me: “Indeed. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Client: “No, just… Are you sure it can’t be retroactive?”

Me: “Absolutely. Have a nice day.”

Client: “How can I have a nice day knowing that Caleb’s still dating my son?”

Me: “Well… do your best to enjoy any good moments that come along?”

Client: “…Thank you. I will do that.”

And with that, I let her go. Looks like we’ll probably be paying for this one.

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