Soooo, What Did We Learrrrn?

My girlfriend’s brother owns a boat, and for her birthday, he usually brings her out crabbing. I am included in this. The first time, I wanted to feel what their shells felt like, so I reached into the bucket… and then yanked my hand back.

Brother: *Laughing* “What were you doing there?”

Me: “I wanted to feel his shell, but he just reared up and told me to f*** off.”

Girlfriend: “If you get pinched, I don’t want to hear about it.”

Brother: “Oh, if he gets pinched, believe me… you’re gonna hear about it.”

Later, my girlfriend and I got our own trap and licenses to go crabbing off the local dock. We made several successful trips. Eventually, I got a bit too close to their grabby end. The resulting exclamation involved a certain amount of profanities.

My girlfriend texted her brother.

Girlfriend: “[My Name] just got pinched by a crab. You were right; I did hear about it.”