Sooo Not Ready For The Internet, Part 18

Art/Design, Clients From Hell, Europe, Marketing/Advertising, Movies & TV, Technology | Right | March 6, 2025

I work with an advertising firm, and we’re in a meeting with a new client to discuss an ad campaign. He’s an older gentleman who works for a government agency that spreads healthcare awareness, and he seems very sweet but not technically up to speed.

The ad will have in the background a simple animation involving a quick good-versus-evil fight between two standard-looking superhero characters. It is not the main focus of the ad.

Client: “We love the storyboard, but we need to make sure the villain isn’t a person of color. That might offend certain groups.”

Me: “Noted.”

Client: “But don’t make them too White, either. We don’t want to offend White people either.”

Me: “I think if we make both characters White, no one will really notice or care. They’re on screen for all of five seconds, and say what you will about it, White is still kinda the ‘default’ option for race on TV.”

Client: “I suppose. Do you think it’s a problem that they’re both men? Would we be insulting women if we don’t include them?”

Me: “Again, since the little animation isn’t the point of the ad, I don’t think it matters. Most people will be looking at the human actors on screen, not the animations.”

Client: “So the human actors should be women?”

Me: “Isn’t your ad campaign about prostate cancer awareness? I think we can be excused for not including women this time around.”

Client: “Oh… I suppose so. In your storyboard notes, you’ve said that both men are over fifty. Isn’t that ageist?”

Me: “Well, no, because your notes to us say the campaign is to advertise free prostate cancer check-ups for men aged fifty and over.”

Client: “But it does sound ageist, doesn’t it?”

Me: “I mean, technically? But its ageism backed by science?”

Client: “Yes! We can say that! The science is ageist, not us!”

Me: “I’m sorry to ask, but why are you so concerned about offending everyone? This wasn’t included in the brief you sent us.”

Client: “Oh, well we got a lot of complaints on social media from our last campaign, but we did that in-house, so we thought we should use a professional firm like you this time around.”

Me: “You’ve done campaigns before?”

Client: “Yes, for Sickle Cell awareness. We got complaints that we were racist for only having Black people in the campaign.”

Me: “I’m not a medical professional, but isn’t Sickle Cell more common among Black people?”

Client: “Yes! Oh… I see! It’s the science that’s racist, not us! We should have used that back then too.”

Me: “Science isn’t racist, or ageist. It just… is. I think whoever in your company is getting worried about these complaints on the Internet should stop looking at the Internet. It’s impossible to make them happy.”

Client: “But… they were all so mean! They called us all racist!”

Me: “You know you can turn off the comments, right?”

Client: “You can?!”

Me: “Yes! Your campaign is for YouTube and Facebook, right? You can turn off the comments.”

Client: “This… this changes everything! That’s amazing! Yes! Please turn them off!”

Poor guy. Hopefully, his days of being traumatized by the comments section are over.