Song Of The South Pole

(I’m talking to a very innocent friend of mine. The teacher is letting us have some free time for the last few minutes of class. I have one earbud in and a very inappropriate song comes on. I grab the other ear-bud to muffle the sound. The following conversation ensues.)

Friend: “What’cha listening to?”

Me: “A good song.”

Friend: “Which is?”

Me: “It’s not important.”

Friend: *gives a “that’s bull-s*** face”* “Just tell me.”

Me: *shakes head*

(She reaches for my phone and before I can stop her she picks it up to look. In trying to pull it away my ear-bud cord comes unplugged. The entire class hears the following words:)

Song: “She wraps those hands around that pole.

She licks those lips and off we go.

She takes it off nice and slow,

‘cause that’s p*rn star dancin’!”

(My friend and I turn bright red as I dive for my phone and struggle to plug the earbuds back in, but it is too late. The whole class has their eyes on us, including the teacher.)

Teacher: “I would yell at you for having such music but I have the same song.”