Sometimes Unconventional Solutions Are The Best

We’ve been having issues with break-ins in an empty lot we use for storage when the business isn’t running. There is nothing to steal, and judging by the damage and marks, it’s probably kids with skateboards.

The problem is that if anyone gets hurt, even by their own fault, we could get sued for not having this site secure enough. What we definitely don’t want is them to keep coming back when we actually have breakables in there. Being a small business, that would ruin us.

We start to use chains and locks, but they cut through them. We bolt on blocks; they hammer them off. Replaced windows are smashed and locked doors are broken. We can’t afford to pay for security and the site is in the middle of nowhere.

Then, [Coworker] (who has never been the most academically gifted of men) acquires some amber tar-like glue. Brushes don’t work, so we end up using a trowel to apply it — until we realise you’re supposed to heat it up first!

I’m cursing [Coworker]. It takes hours of back-breaking work, and I don’t see how it will ever work. I threaten that I will stick plenty of things to [Coworker] if he’s wasted our time.

But sure enough, the next day, halfway up a wall where no glue was even applied is a skateboard stuck fast. I can’t reach it, so a year later, it’s still there.

The break-ins have pretty much stopped after that. I’ve bought [Coworker] a well-deserved pint or several.