Sometimes, This Job Really Blows

(I work as a drug tester for state agencies. Most people come in for breathalyzers. Our machine though does not stop on its own and I have to tell people when to stop blowing. A new client has just come in and is doing his blood alcohol.)

Me: “…and stop blowing.”

(The client doesn’t stop, but keeps blowing until the machine gives a system error.)

Me: “Okay, let’s try one more time…” *client blows* “…and stop.”

(Again, the client doesn’t stop, which causes a system error again. This goes on ELEVEN more times, with me explaining repeatedly that he needs to stop when I tell him to.)

Client: “What the F***! Why won’t this f***ing thing work?!”

Me: “As I’ve explained multiple times, you have to stop when I say or it won’t work.”

Client: “I don’t like people telling me what to do!”