Sometimes Karma Is Really, Really Wet

I’ve moved back in with my parents while I’m going back to college. I’m paying them rent and helping with housework while I’m there.

We’ve been getting torrential downpours for a week straight. We’ve been having daily severe thunderstorms on top of consistent showers, there have been multiple tornado warnings, and the entire area has been in a flash-flood warning for the last five days. Our lawns are completely screwed up and have been getting worse day by day; the grass is soaked, the ground is so saturated that it feels like you’re walking on a bed of wet sponges and you actually sink several inches if you walk on it, there are huge puddles all over the grass, and it’s just generally a complete mess. Needless to say, it’s not in any state to mow.

But despite all of this, my step-father has been begging me to mow the lawn for the past few days. I’ve told him every time that I’m not going to mow the lawn in its current state, and that once it finally stops raining and dries out, I’ll gladly mow it. Each day, he’s gotten angrier and angrier that I’m not mowing it, despite the fact the yard is pretty much in terrible shape.

Finally, this transpires one day after I wake up.

Me: “Good morning, [Step-Dad]!”

Step-Dad: *Without even greeting me* “You think you can mow the lawn today?”

Me: “I mean, I’ll check and see, but it was literally downpouring the entire night and it’s supposed to keep raining today. If the yard is still covered in puddles, I’m not going to mow it.”

Step-Dad: *Exploding* “You know what?! I’m sick and tired of this! You need to do as I say and mow the d*** lawn! You’re so lazy, I can’t stand it!”

Me: “Have you actually looked at the lawn? It’s in no shape to mow. Trust me.”

Step-Dad: “This is complete bulls***! I shouldn’t have to ask you every single day to mow the lawn!”

Me: “Again… have you actually looked at the lawn?”

Step-Dad: “I don’t care! You can do it! You will do it!”

My mom enters the room.

Mom: “[Step-Dad], stop being ridiculous! The yard is like a swamp! It’d be like trying to mow a swimming pool!”

Step-Dad: “God, I can’t stand both of you! You’re just enabling [My Name] to be lazy! He should have mowed the lawn days ago when I first asked!”

Mom: “If you’re going to get so bent out of shape about it, why don’t you mow the lawn?”

Step-Dad: *Glaring* “Maybe I will!”

He turns back to me.

Step-Dad: “Don’t think you’re off the hook, [My Name]!”

He then went outside and I heard the lawnmower start. About fifteen minutes later, he came back inside. In that time, he only managed to mow a single line in the yard, the lawnmower got clogged with sopping-wet grass and stalled out about ten times, he managed to rip a huge hole in the yard and uproot a big line of grass, and his nice sneakers and jeans were completely soaked and covered in mud from walking through puddles. Needless to say, he stopped asking me to mow the lawn until the weather finally cleared up for a few days.

This story is part of our Best Of August 2021 roundup!

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