Something Odd About Her But You Can’t Put Your Finger On It

(I’m the stupid one in this story. I am parking my car at a store while animatedly telling my husband about an incident of road rage earlier that day. I am telling him the story, and wildly waving around my middle finger. Having finally finished telling the story, we exit the vehicle, when I hear someone call to me from the car parked next to me.)

Stranger: “Excuse me! Were you flipping me off?”

Me: *instantly embarrassed* “Oh, my god, NO! I’m so sorry; I was telling my husband about flipping off an idiot driver on the interstate. That totally was NOT directed at you!”

Stranger: “Oh, okay. I was wondering what I had done.” *he begins laughing*

Me: “I’m so sorry; I hope you have a good night!” *waves to man, as I am walking into the store with my husband*

Husband: “I can’t wait to tell my coworkers about this. This is way better than the story of you trying to steal the General Manager’s whiskey at dinner last weekend.”

Me: *hangs head in shame* “Can I give up on life yet?”