Someone’s Been Sliced Down To Size

Customer: “Can I have this loaf of bread sliced?”

Me: “Absolutely. Would you like that sliced thin or regular?”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know what you call it, but I want it sliced like this…”

(He pulls a slice of bread from his pocket and hands it to me.)

Customer: “You can keep that. The wife and I couldn’t agree on how thick it was, so I thought it would be best to bring in a piece from the last loaf and let an expert look at it.”

(At this point I’m a little dumbfounded, and trying hard to keep a straight face.)

Customer: “Yeah, the wife’s idea of four inches and my idea of four inches aren’t exactly the same thing, if you know what I mean.”

(I slice the loaf of bread for the man and hand it to him.)

Me: *laughing* “Here’s your bread, sir. Have a nice day.”