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Someone Obviously Never Calls Mom

, , , , , | Right | April 23, 2020

Most retailers have a policy that returns should have a receipt, and they have “loyalty cards” that link to purchases made and specific time limits for returns. I work for a retailer that does this. Two teen boys come to the counter.

Male Teen #1: “I’d like to return these items. My mom bought the wrong thing.”

He shows me two containers of very expensive acne remedy. They cost $15.00 each. They’re out of their original box — if they had one — and don’t appear to be something we carry now. I certainly don’t remember selling it recently. I start the return process.

Me: “Do you have a receipt?”

Male Teen #1: “No.”  

Me: “Do you have your Mom’s loyalty card?”

Male Teen #1: “No”. 

Male Teen #2: “But I have a card!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we must have the original card it was purchased with.”  

I turn to [Male Teen #1].

Me: “What’s your mom’s phone number?”

Male Teen #1: “I don’t know.”

I void the transaction. This is a trigger for more investigation. I call my manager to approve the void. There’s no way I can process this one.

Me: “This young man would like to return these items, but he has no receipt and no card and he doesn’t know his mother’s phone number.” 

The boys step back from the counter, and the manager goes off with the products in hand. After a few minutes, he comes back. He’s done some research.

Manager: “I’m sorry, but we haven’t sold any of this product in over three months.”

Somehow, the boys didn’t seem surprised. They left without so much as a protest and without any money. Next time, know your own mother’s phone number!

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