Someone Needs To Switch To Decaf

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2008

(At the front bar of a certain coffee shop, as I’m In the middle of making a caramel macchiato. An old, angry, hovering customer approaches me.)

Customer: “What are you doing? I didn’t ask for caramel, I’m allergic! Are you trying to kill me?? I had to wait in line all this time and I can’t get a **** coffee made right!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a caramel macchiato. I’m sure this isn’t your drink; what did you have today?”

Customer: “I had a latte. I’ve been waiting for ten minutes!”

Me: “Ma’am, there’s a latte right here on the counter right next to your handbag.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me? I’m late for my movie!”

Me: “Ma’am, I called the drink out three times, you were standing there the whole time.”

Customer: “You should have called louder!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I was practically yelling, I figured it was loud enough. Well, there you are, have a nice day.”

Customer: “YOU MADE ME LATE FOR MY ****** MOVIE!”

Another customer: “You get the evilest people here don’t you?”

Me: “LA’s finest, here’s your macchiato. Have a nice evening.”

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