Someone Needs To Learn To Look Things Up Online

It’s a weekday during autumn, and the theater doesn’t open until noon because it’s just too slow to open any earlier, and we lose money like crazy. We’re talking at most six or seven people a day before 5:00 pm. I arrive early at 11:00 am to do some paperwork and then open the theater.

As soon as I arrive, I see a frustrated woman trying every door. This is despite the fact that there’s a clear sign on the front door saying when we open. I approach a side door and wait for a manager to let me in when she literally stomps over.

Customer: “Do you work here?!”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Your sign says you open at noon! Why can’t I come in now?!”

Me: “Um… because we don’t open until noon?”

Customer: “Ugh! Well, you’d better open at noon on the dot! I have important business at this theater, and it’s just ridiculous that you’re not open!”

The woman walks away and gets into her car, slamming the door behind her. She sits there, literally glaring at me as I’m let in. I get my paperwork done, and at around 11:30, I begin to prepare the box office and concession stand to open for the day. Suddenly, I get a call at the box office.

Me: *Answering the phone* “Hello, you’ve reached [Theater]. How may I help you?”

It’s the woman from before.

Customer: “I want to come in. Now!”

Me: “I apologize, but we don’t open for about another half-hour.”

Customer: “Hmph! I have very important business at the theater!”

She hangs up and I continue to try and open. I see a coworker approaching the side door. Before I can go over to let them in, the woman gets out of her car, storms up to them, and begins to scream at them. My coworker looks completely shocked. The woman then turns and storms back to her car again. I let my coworker in. As I continue to work, the phone rings again.

Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [Theater]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’m still waiting! I want you to know that you’re completely ruining my day! I have very important business at the theater, and you’re disrupting my entire week not letting me in, you brat!”

She hangs up before I can even respond. As I continue to work, she calls the theater no less than a dozen times. After being screamed at over the phone a third time, I stop answering. I can see her outside of the window becoming more and more furious in her car with each call.

Finally, noon rolls around, and my manager, who I’ve made aware of the situation, goes to unlock the front doors. The woman is now standing right outside and literally shoves my manager to get inside the second he unlocks the door. She storms directly up to me.

Customer: “This is f****** insane! I have important business! I don’t care when you open! You should open when your customers want you to!”

I put on my best fake smile.

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Theater]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I need to know if you’ll have [Obscure Movie I’ve never even heard of] in two weeks!”

I’m about ready to burst out laughing:

Me: “Well, ma’am, unfortunately, our schedule is made week-to-week, so I won’t know until closer to the release date.”

The woman glares at me.

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: *Glances at my nametag* “No. But I will have you know that I will complain to your corporate office and have you fired for not opening earlier, [My Name]!”

Me: “Oh, okay. I hope you have a great day.”

She stormed away. My manager saw the whole situation and phoned up corporate to inform them that a woman had been harassing us while trying to open, had shoved him, and had threatened to have me fired. I wasn’t fired, and we subsequently placed a temporary ban on the customer and were allowed to refuse service if she came back in.