Someone Made The Thong Decision

It’s the middle of 2020, at the height of a certain pandemic. I’m currently on unemployment benefits due to resigning from my job in retail (because of my workplace not following protocols and me not wanting to chance bringing home a potentially lethal disease to my immunocompromised mother), and it’s grocery day for me and my dad.

We head into Walmart for our routine. Masks on, hand sanitizer at the ready, I even had a pack of Lysol wipes in my purse for the cart. For the most part, people are following mask guidelines; there’s a handful with their masks under their noses, but they’re at least wearing something. Some are using bandanas, some have N95s, some have cloth, some have the little disposable ones you see dentists use, and so on.

When we get to the dairy aisle, one in particular catches my eye, and I look over. A man wearing a particularly frilly black mask. I didn’t think too much of it…

…until he turned at an angle that I realized he was wearing a pair of women’s panties as a mask.

When he walked down the next aisle, I turned to my dad, who was also staring at him.

Dad: “…was he wearing…”

Me: “Yup.”

I sure hope those panties were clean.