Someone Is About To Be Very Melon-cholic
I’m checking out an older couple. I scan two melons and place them in the bagging area when the old guy says:
Old Guy: “How much for the melons?”
Me: “Uhm, they scanned at [price] each.”
Old Guy: “Not those melons.” *Looks down at my chest.*
Me: “Do you want me to finish scanning your items, or do you want me to call security?”
Old Guy: “Oh my god! Jeeze! It was just a joke!”
His Wife: *To me.* “Please, call security. Have them escort him out. It’s the only way he’ll learn.”
Old Guy: “Why are women so sensitive these days?! It was just a joke!”
Me: *To the wife.* “Would you like me to call security?”
His Wife: “Please.”
I press the button. Security and a manager walk over very fast. I explain the situation.
Security: “Come this way, sir.”
His Wife: “I’ll meet you outside, darling.”
Old Guy: “You can’t do this!”
Manager: “Yes, we can. In fact, considering both an employee AND a customer are asking for it means we can doubly do it. We’ll have you escorted outside, and we’ll leave it at that. If you resist, we’ll have to call the police.”
Old Guy: “Are you serious?! It… was… a… joke!”
Manager: “Now, sir.”
He walks out with security, glaring back at us the whole way.
Me: *To the wife.* “Are you going to be okay?”
His Wife: “Oh, I’ll be fine. He needs to learn that he can’t talk like that anymore. Waiting outside in the rain will be good for him.”
She holds up her car keys.
His Wife: “Considering I have the car keys, he’s not allowed back in the building, and I feel like taking a nice loooong coffee at the in-store café before leaving. Might even treat myself to a muffin…”
According to the security guy keeping an eye on him, he was waiting outside for half an hour before his wife ‘remembered’.
