Someone Closed On That Deal, And It Wasn’t The Scammer

I work at a thrift store. I am coming back from my last break maybe an hour before close. On the way back to the registers, a woman stares me down.

Customer: “Are you good at multiplication? I’d like to know how much forty-three pairs of jeans will cost.”

I’m not exactly working here because of my skill with math.

Me: “I’m not sure.”

Customer: “I really want to know. Can you go find out, please?”

I go up to the registers, and the assistant manager is pulling one of the other cashiers to go home. I tell them what just occurred, and they say they’ll tell her on the way back, and that it came out to be about $300.

Closing time rolls around and the last few customers get rung out, but I haven’t seen the customer in the last hour. I figure she’s either still shopping, despite the warnings of closing for the past thirty minutes, or she left, either with the cart or without.

On a whim, I go take a look-see. I spy a lone cart full of clothes and grab it. On the way back, who do I see but the woman from before, now in the suitcase area, pulling clothes off their hangers. Hmm…

I go back and tell the assistant manager, who gives another warning over the intercom that the store is closed, but then just decides, “Screw it,” and goes to get her. I hear them talking but can’t make out what they’re saying. Then the assistant manager comes around the corner with the biggest suitcase we have and puts it on the floor, open. It’s about half full of clothes. The lady comes with her cart, her cart brimming — the cart I grabbed was also hers — and talking about how she’s treating herself with her stimulus check. Between the assistant manager scanning and me bagging, it still takes about twenty minutes to get through it all. All in all, her total comes to $899.

The lady puts her card in and it’s declined. She tries again two or three more times, all declined.

Customer: “I need to go out to my car to get my purse.”

She leaves.

Assistant Manager: “We’ll wait a few minutes and then lock the doors. Some of the customers that came through just a bit ago pointed that lady out, as well as another person, and said they heard them having a conversation about stealing. The lady we just served was bragging about having $300 worth of jeans. When I found her with the suitcase, she was stuffing it, but she told me she was just ‘counting it for us.’”

After a few minutes pass, the assistant manager assumes the customer is gone for good and goes out to grab carts. There’s no car out there, but the lady comes around from down an alley.

Customer: “My sister must have taken my purse to the casinos! Can you split the clothes for me and I’ll pay for half of it now?”

Assistant Manager: “It’s thirty minutes past close now. No, that’s not happening. You can come back tomorrow by [time] or we’ll have to put it all back.”

Surprise, surprise, guess who never showed?