Some Teachers Just Don’t Measure Up

I am nine and in primary school. We are using tape measures to measure our height as part of the lesson. Everyone has paired up, and I am left out, so the teacher measures my height and records it as 51 cm (20 inches). I am one of the tallest kids in the class.

Me: “Um, miss, I think you wrote my height wrong.”

Teacher: “Nonsense! You’re 51 centimetres.”

I hold up the metre ruler.

Me: “Miss, if I were 51 centimetres, I would be half as tall as this ruler, and I’m taller than it is. Everyone else is 100 cm or more, and I’m taller than them.”

Teacher: “Don’t talk back.”

Me: “I think you read the wrong side. I might be 51 inches, not centimetres. Then, I’d be…” *looks at tape measure* “…129 centimetres, which sounds right since [Classmate] is 120 and I’m taller than him.”

Teacher: “You’re an idiot.”

She shooed me off. I measured myself again and, lo and behold, I was not, in fact, the shortest person in the class. She also told me I was spelling my name wrong, recorded my height and weight incorrectly — leading to me getting a letter home about my obesity even though I was underweight — and screamed at me for asking how to spell “marshmallow.” I don’t miss her.