Some Scammers Can’t Reach Escape Velocity Fast Enough

| Working | May 7, 2013

Telemarketer: “Hello, I’m calling in regards to your [satellite TV company].”

Me: “Okay.”

Telemarketer: “Yes, [satellite TV company] will be moving some satellites and you will need additional equipment to continue your service.”

Me: “Uh, moving satellites?”

Telemarketer: “Yes, and we’re calling to—”

Me: “HOW exactly are you planning on doing this? There isn’t any reaction mass to shift geosync orbits of the satellites that much, and if there were, I’d just have to repoint.”

Telemarketer: “We’re doing this because we need additional—”

Me: “No, that is WHY. I asked specifically HOW.”

Telemarketer: “Uh.”

Me: “You say you’re with [satellite TV company]. If this is the case, what is my account number?

Telemarketer: “[My phone number], under the name [my wife’s name].”

Me: “No, that’s the phone number you called. If you’re really with [satellite TV company], you’ll have access to my account number. What is it?”

Telemarketer: *click*

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