Some Prefer Their Customers Toothless

(I work as a shift leader at a well known fast food restaurant. As part of my duties, whenever a customer calls with a complaint or question, I do my absolute best to try and resolve it. Sometimes though, that can mean going to surprising lengths.)

Me: “[Restaurant], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes. Would you go check your play area?”

Me: “Sure! Do you mind my asking what I’m looking for?”

Caller: “I think I left a… parcel in there, wrapped up in a napkin.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Did you say a ‘parcel’?”

Caller: “Yes!”

(Even though our customers are generally better than most, we still have the occasional drug addict or homeless person wander in. At the word “parcel,” my mind immediately suggests either heroin or marijuana.)

Me: “All right, ma’am. One moment, please.”

(I take a quick look through our kids area, but the “parcel” wrapped in napkins is nowhere to be found.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t see anything.”

Caller: *sighs* “Well, would you look through the trash, then? I wouldn’t normally bother, but these were very expensive!”

(She still hasn’t told me what I’m looking for yet. Hoping to give her a quick “no”, I start rifling through our very full trash can. I’m about to give her the news when my eye spots a wadded up napkin. I grab it, carefully unwrap it, and lo and behold, it’s a pair of shiny new dentures!)

Me: “All right, ma’am, I think I’ve found it. Is it… um, is it teeth?”

Caller: “YES! Oh, fantastic! I’ll be right over!”

(After vigorously washing my hands, I re-wrap the “teeth” and stash it behind the counter. A tall, weathered looking gentleman walks through the door.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Man: “Actually, I’m…. I hate to say this, but I’m here for the teeth…”

(I smiled, wordlessly picked up the “parcel,” and handed it to him. He left with a skip in his step, and I never saw him again!)