Some People Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Have Phones

| Right | July 4, 2017

(I work doing customer service and tech support for a major phone carrier. Normally when we get a call, a screen pops up with the customer’s account, but if the phone number the customer entered on their way through the system doesn’t match any account, we get a blank screen that lets us search an account instead. One of these calls has just come in to my phone.)

Me: “Hi, thanks for calling [Carrier]. My name is [My Name]! Can I get your name, please?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Um… Okay, well, what can I do for you?”

Caller: *shouting* “Now listen here to me. You guys just gave me a brand new phone, and the number they gave me, it doesn’t work! I need you to fix it right now!”

Me: “Okay, I’m really sorry it doesn’t work right! It’s possible the account didn’t get set up correctly. Did you get the phone in a store, or did you order it online, or over the phone…?”

Caller: “Ma’am, you’re not listening to me! I said it doesn’t work, and I need you to f****** fix it!”

Me: “Sir, I understand your frustration. I just need a little bit of information so I can find out what’s going wrong with the phone—”

Caller: “No, I told you enough information! Now fix it!”

Me: “Sir, right now I don’t even have your account up. If I can get the account pulled up, I can definitely look at it and find out what’s causing the phone not to work.”

Caller: “I need you to fix it, right now!”

Me: “I’m trying, sir, but I need to find out what’s going on—”

Caller: “I told you what’s going on! God, you idiots are useless! You’re the fifth person I’ve talked to and you’re all just asking these questions and going off in directions that don’t matter! I. Need. It. Fixed!”

Me: “I do understand, sir, that it’s important to you to get the phone fixed. Now, I can pull up the account using your name and state, since the phone number isn’t working—”

Caller: “I don’t need the account! I need you to fix the phone! Look, I’m just gonna hang up. None of y’all know anything about what you’re doing.”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir!”

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