Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 17

I work as a tour guide for a popular river cruise company. Generally, I get along with everybody at work and am good with the guests. As I’m coming onto the docks one day after clocking in, I see one of the boats come in from a sightseeing cruise and the passengers disembark.

Among them is an older man in a wheelchair with no legs and a large, infected-looking cut over his eye. He rolls up to me, and the first thing I notice is a vague smell of whiskey. I assume he probably had a couple of drinks on the ship.

Passenger: “So, what’s your favorite movie?”

I’ve been asked stranger things off the cuff, so I just roll with it.

Me: “Lord of the Rings: Return of the King — I don’t even have to think about it.”

That apparently is not what he wanted to hear, as it sends him off on a two-minute rant filled with ableist slurs about how much he hates sequels and remakes.

Passenger: “And you know who’s responsible? You! You f****** millennials have no talent; you can’t come up with any ideas of your own!”

This goes on for another two minutes as he takes his problem with millennials out on me personally, questioning my intelligence, my upbringing, my parentage, everything. Fortunately, I used to be a street performer, so I got used to hecklers early on. Throughout the entire rant, I just stand by, smiling and not saying a word.

Finally, the man stops for breath and I decide to give him a little sass.

Me: “Do you feel better now that you got that out of your system?”

I will remember his next words to me until my dying day.

Passenger: “F*** you, millennial trash! You think you’re so smart with your beard? Why don’t you go remake a TV show?”

Then, he wheeled off and started talking to the people at a table. Ten minutes later, I saw a dockhand escorting the man off of the premises and learned that he hadn’t bought a ticket, had snuck on board the boat by pretending to be part of a larger group, and had spent the whole hour-long sightseeing cruise harassing the bartender. He was finally removed because he wouldn’t stop accosting people and making a scene.

Some people just aren’t happy unless they’re miserable.

Related:
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 16
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 15
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 14
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 13
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 12