Some People Just Care You To Death

, , , | Friendly | May 26, 2020

I am a fairly petite woman. My boyfriend is a larger guy, but he is very much a “gentle giant” who would never intentionally hurt anyone. I play rugby: a sport that is not known for being “gentle” or “cuddly”. I get a black eye in a rugby match one weekend, and when I go to class the following Monday, another woman I know from a few classes approaches me.

Woman: “Oh, my gosh, [My Name]. What happened to your face?”

Me: “I got hit by an elbow on Saturday.”

Woman: “[My Name], you can tell me. Did [Boyfriend] hit you?”

Me: “No, I had a rugby match on Saturday. I went into a tackle and ended up taking an elbow to the face. It happens sometimes.”

Woman: “[My Name]… Please be honest with me. I don’t want anyone to get in trouble, but if [Boyfriend] is hurting you, you need to tell someone.”

Me: “It wasn’t [Boyfriend] at all. He would never hurt anyone, especially me.”

Woman: “Well, I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt you, but if he gets mad, it wouldn’t take much because he’s so much bigger than you.”

Me: “For the last time, [Boyfriend] didn’t hurt me. I play rugby. Getting hurt sometimes is part of the sport.”

Woman: “Don’t worry, [My Name]. I won’t tell anybody about you and [Boyfriend], but at least take this.”

She hands me a business card for the local battered women’s shelter.

Woman: “I volunteer there for part of my volunteer practicum. We have a lot of people who have learned to lie about their relationship, but just remember that you’re not alone next time [Boyfriend] does something like this, okay?”

I tore up the business card, threw the pieces in the trash, and walked away from her. She tried a few more times, whenever I had scrapes or bruises from rugby, to convince me that I needed to get away from my boyfriend, but she finally gave up after he proposed to me and I said yes.

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