Some Men Are Violent, Others Just Violet

(My boyfriend and I are sitting on my bed. I’m not really paying attention to him as I do my homework. After being quiet for awhile, he suddenly speaks up.)

Boyfriend: “Babe?”

Me: “Yes?”

Boyfriend: “I know I’m a man.”

Me: “Um… okay?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah! I’m perfectly comfortable sitting on pink polka dot sheets and holding a purple duck. Only true men are that comfortable with their masculinity.”

Me: “That’s wonderful, sweetie…”