Some Lights Shine Dimmer Than Others

Caller: “Hi, do you sell lighting for above artwork?”

Me: “Yes, we have several in stock and many others that we could order. Do you know what length you’re looking for?”

Caller: “No. How much are they?”

Me: “Well, that will depend on the size and style you select. Once you’ve measured the artwork we’ll have a better idea of the size. Do you want it to plug in to an outlet, run on batteries, or would you like it hard-wired into your electrical? Would you prefer incandescent bulbs or LED?”

Caller: “I don’t know. Could you give me a price range?”

Me: “Well, they’ll vary quite a lot, and there are dozens of styles. I’ll tell you what… Let me give you our website address. Have a look on there and see if there’s anything that catches your eye. Once we have some product codes, I can get you some prices. It’s [address].”

Caller: *repeats address back to me* “Okay, I’m online right now. Oooh, I see a nice one!”

Me: “That’s great! What’s the product number?”

Caller: “It says it’s $60! Great price. How long will it take to get it?”

Me: “I’m a little confused. We don’t have one at that price. Can I confirm the address with you one more time?”

Caller: “Oh, I’m on eBay. How long will it take to get it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t buy things for you from eBay.”

Caller: “Well, you’re no help at all!”