Some Languages Are Harder To Climb Than Others

(I am sitting my German oral exam. I have to discuss two topics of my choosing, one of which is German tourism. I’ve never actually been to Germany so I am making up a fictional holiday in Stuttgart. German is also not a strong subject for me.)

Examiner: “And what did you do in Stuttgart?”

Me: “I went shopping. I went to the museum. I… climbed the mountains.”

Examiner: “Why do you think people go to Germany?”

(I go completely blank and try to think of a reason, any reason at all, why people would go to Germany which I can actually say in German. The only thing that comes to mind is the last word I used: mountains.)

Me: “The mountains are beautiful. People would go for that.”

Examiner: “Great. What other German-speaking countries are there?”

Me: “Austria? And the Netherlands?”

Examiner: “So why would people go there and not Germany?”

Me: “Um … well, Austria has very big mountains. You can ski on the mountains. People would go to Austria because of those mountains.”

Examiner: “Very true. Why the Netherlands, then?”

Me: “Oh, um, the Netherlands does not have many mountains. It has very small mountains. People who … do not like mountains … but speak German … would probably prefer to go there.”

(Of the six exams I had to take for this qualification, this was the only exam I got an A in. I can only assume the examiner was a big fan of mountaineering!)