Some Fellas Have The Write Stuff

I worked in a furniture store. If a customer is buying a heavy piece of furniture that needs to be secured to a wall, they have to complete a form acknowledging they know that before they can buy it (too many lawsuits, I guess?)

I’m explaining the form to the customer as they’re interested in buying a large cabinet.

Customer: “I don’t want to do that. I hate d*** forms!”

Me: “I’m afraid it’s policy. We can’t sell it to you without it.”

Customer: “Look, son, I have the d*** cash, you have the d*** item. In the olden days, this would be real d*** simple.”

Me: “I’m afraid the olden days disappeared when every-d***-one started suing every-d***-one else for every d*** thing, sir. These days, we need the d*** form.”

The customer squared up to me, and with some weird macho-cowboy kinda vibe, pats me on the back and laughs.

Customer: “Ha! I like you! Fine, I’ll squiggle some d*** nonsense on yer form that says I ain’t stupid enough to sue you if my own d*** furniture falls on me in my own d*** house.”

D*** straight.