Some Employees Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2

(A friend and I go to the beach and decided to buy BFF belly button rings. Instead of buying them separately, we decide to split the bill to get them a few dollars cheaper.)

Employee: “They are two for $22.”

Me: “Can we split the bill? She’s paying cash, and I have a debit card.”

Employee: “Yes, of course.” *to herself* “They’re two for $22, then with tax is $24… split in half…” *to us* “It’s gonna be $17 each after tax.”

(Without thinking, my friend hands her a twenty dollar bill and receives $3 cash back. I then hand her my card, sign the receipt and then leave.)

Me: “Wait.. how is it $17 each?”

(Realizing we were just each ripped off $5, we go back into the store.)

Friend: “You said they were two for $22, right?”

Employee: “Yes, and then $24 after tax.”

Friend: “Isn’t half of 24… 12?”

Employee: “No, it’s 17.”

Friend: “I’m pretty sure it’s 12, though?”

Employee: “Look, I don’t have a calculator because my phone is off but I can assure you it’s 17.”

Me: “No, 17 plus 17 is 34.”

Employee: “No. 17 plus 17 is 24.”

Friend: “How?”

Employee: “Seven plus seven is fourteen. 10 plus 10 is 20. Fourteen plus 20 is…. oh, gosh!”