Some DJs Can Leave You Spinning

(Every night, the drugstore I work at does a closing announcement 15, 10, and 5 minutes before closing and also one at closing. I’ve just made the 10 minute announcement when a middle-aged man comes up to my register.)

Customer: “Was that you making that last announcement?”

Me: “Yes it was. We do a few of them every night.”

Customer: “You sounded very professional! Are you going to do more of them?”

Me: “Thank you, and yes. I’m going to do the five minute announcement shortly.”

Customer: *very excited* “Can I do it?!”

Me: “Uhh… well, I don’t think so. We have to do it at just the right time and we follow a script that I have memorized.”

Customer: “Aww, man!”

(I finish the customer’s transaction and everything seems fine. He walks away a few steps and starts messing with his wallet. I pick up the speakerphone to make the next announcement, but just as I start to talk, the man grabs the phone from me. As he does so, he slams it into my face and gives me a bloody lip in the process.)

Customer: “HEY EVERYBODY! THIS IS DJ SEXY! IT’S THAT TIME OF THE NIGHT AGAIN!”

(I’m completely shocked and try to get it back from the customer. However, he keeps ducking and moving so I hit the hangup button instead. By that point, the manager has come running up to us. The customer sees my manager, drops the phone, and runs out of the store.)

Manager: “What in the h*** is going on?! Why did you let him do that?!”

(Note that as my manager questions me, I’m dabbing my bloody mouth with a tissue.)

Me: “Let him?! He grabbed it from me and hurt me in the process! That guy was crazy!”

Manager: “Well… you should be more careful!” *walks off*

(I tried to file an accident report with the store and asked the manager to call the police so that there would be a record of the event in case the guy came back. He refused to do either, so I quit that night!)