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Some Customers Need To Be Banned From Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

, , , , , , | Right | May 6, 2022

It seems there is a trend of sticking googly eyes to things. It turns out some of these are really hard to remove and some of our adverts are thin sheets of paper stuck to a plastic board; removing the eyes destroys the board.

It is getting to be a real pain and costing the store some serious money. We start sweeping the store, and as soon as we find some, we check the cameras. It takes us a while to realise we have been looking for teenagers and adults, completely missing the nine-year-old boy who regularly comes in. He is there every time we find the eyes, sometimes the only one.

The next day the boy comes in, he’s told that we know what he’s been doing. He can only come in if he promises not to do it again. Instead, he turns and leaves.

A few hours later, he comes back with his mum.

Mum: “Why did you say my son couldn’t come in?”

Me: “He’s been caught damaging our display boards. He was told he could only come in if he promised he would stop.”

Mum: “He wouldn’t do anything like that! He’s nine!”

Me: “Sorry, but we’ve caught him on camera. We have had to throw dozens of boards away and spend hours removing his stickers.”

Mum: “He does travel stickers! I would know!”

Me: “They are sticky eyes.”

Mum: “Oh, them. Well, I don’t see what the problem is. They are just stickers.”

Me: “As I already said, they cause damage to the boards, and we’ve asked him to stop.”

Mum: “This is ridiculous! Let me talk to your manager.”

I grab him, and she goes on telling a twisted version painting her son as the next in line to be the Pope. The manager listens for a while before interrupting.

Manager: “So you’re admitting that your son has damaged hundreds of pounds’ worth of our equipment, and now you’re complaining when a member of staff asked him to stop?”

Mum: “That’s not at all what happened. It’s being blown out of proportion.”

Manager: “You can pay for the boards yourself or find another store to shop at.”

She spluttered, complained, and threatened to complain to corporate. My manager offered to manage it through the police if she really wanted to escalate it. The best part wasn’t seeing her leave but denying her service a week later when she tried to shop in disguise.

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