Some Computer Owners Just Can’t Hack It
(A customer walks up to the counter and sets a plastic shopping bag down.)
Customer: “You have to help me!”
Me: “I’d be more than happy to assist you, ma’am. What seems to be the problem today?”
Customer: “I’m being hacked! You have to get them to stop using my computer!”
Me: “Do you have your computer with you so that I can see what’s going on?”
(She just turns the bag upside down. Parts of a laptop spill everywhere: motherboard, LCD panel, hinges, keyboard, palm rest, etc.)
Me: “Uh, ma’am? Why did you dismantle your computer?”
Customer: “That’s the only way to get them to stop! When computers are powered down, they aren’t really off! Those people in India are hacking into them while you have them off and are using it to teach their kids how to speak English! That’s why jobs are outsourced!”
Me: “I really don’t think I can help you, ma’am.”
Customer: “Well, put my computer back together! I have a warranty with you people. I’ll get the FBI or police to help me with the hackers.”
Me: “Our warranty does not cover you taking apart your computer.”
Customer: “Oh, my God! You’re one of the people helping those hackers, aren’t you?”
Me: *speechless*
Customer: “Aren’t you?!”
This story is part of our customer conspiracy theorists roundup!
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Question of the Week
What is the absolute most stupid thing you’ve heard a customer say?
